Often there is enough affinity between a renter and a companion to develop some kind of friendship. You share enough things in common to make your time together mutually enjoyable, and you get to the point where it is hard distinguishing any difference compared to your “non for profit” relationships.
Being Argentinean, I feel the need to expand a little bit on what a friend is. In Argentina, a friend is as important as your family, we do not give the “Friend” title so easily to anyone. We have a category of relationship we call “compinche” or “amigote”, which is a kind of purgatory where we group all the acquaintances we like enough that we think we may become friends, but have not yet being deserving of being promoted.
I do not consider my self representative of the Argentinean stereotype, but I am typical on that point. Once we become friends our bond is not different to that of a very close brother or sister. We have very few friends, and the bond is stronger even than your partner’s.
In this post I am not talking about the Argentinean concept of friendship, but the American understanding of the relationship. I do not mean all Argentinean friendships are iron strong, and I do not mean American friendships cannot be iron strong. I mean that in general, the friendships I have developed and observed in the USA, are much more lighter. There is a big deal of love and concern, but not with the strength and depth I was used to.
Perhaps Americans live a little bit of the experience in some of their high school and college friendships, but often they do not last beyond a few years.
Hiring and friendship, be careful
In my experience, hiring and friendship do not go together so often. The very nature of the relationship, based on a contract, is a formidable obstacle. You can be friendly with your employees or contractors, you can be friendly with your boss, but as long as there is a contract and a service to be delivered and evaluated, it is hard to talk about friendship.
At the same time, it is hard not to develop something like a friendship, because of the very nature of the service provided. In my case, to make it worse (or better) there is also a considerable age gap that fosters a protective, caring link. We spend time together, both of us want to enjoy our time, the client naturally develops a personal fondness. Sometimes this fondness is reciprocal, but this reciprocity is often just artificial, just role playing. It is not that the professional is not fond of his client, but that often there is a significant gap in the mutual interest both players experience.
As long as there is an exchange of money or goods, my personal choice is to hold the horses of my emotions, and keep the relationship as a working, professional bond.
I do love my boys, and they know how much I am willing to do for them when they need my help, but they are not my friends. They cannot be as long as we are meeting because I am paying for our time together.
Hiring and friendship, it is dangerous.
Back in the 80s, in Buenos Aires, I was visiting a friend who is a painter and a visual artist. His project in that moment was hiring very young street hustlers, having a photo session, filming and interview, and then getting them to fuck him. That night, I met Pablo. He was astonishingly beautiful. Dark smooth skin, huge light brown eyes, thick lips, huge eyebrows, athletic body, a worth of worshipping dick, and a monumental round ass. We clicked immediately and exchanged numbers.
He called me the next day. We started a passionate relationship with only kissing and oral sex involved, never penetration. His visits started to be very frequent, so the exchange of money would be extremely low, sometimes it was diner and some weed. Pablo was bisexual, he had a girlfriend he would marry years later.
This lasted for about 6 months. One night he asked me to stay overnight. It had happened many times before, but this occasion was different. When I woke up in the morning he had left with my cash and a few belongings. Needless to say I was devastated. I was much younger and inexperienced and I had gotten emotionally involved.
Calling the police was pointless. I was pretty poor back then, he just stole a few dollars, a cheap boom box, and some clothing. Do not forget we are talking about street hustling.
Hiring and friendship. It is not impossible
We met. He brought some of the clothing, apologized for not having the cash and the boom box, and begged for my forgiveness.
We became lovers and friends, meeting for years several times a week. We never exchanged goods again. In my following birthday, his present was to start bottoming for me. Our sex chemistry and drive was out of the charts.
He got married and had four children, all girls. He wanted me to be one of his daughters’ godfather, but I never wanted to meet his wife and family. I still see him every time I go to Buenos Aires. I saw him two years ago, and we had sex again, as every single time we had a room for ourselves.
Hiring and friendship, be careful but go with the flow
It happened to me only once, but we all are different persons. I choose not to be friend with my boys, but you may make a different option. There is beauty and joy in our diversity. Just be careful, be realistic, have some friends to be your reality check.
Of course, I am writing from the client’s perspective. It would be very interesting to have the point of view of a professional. Specially a retired professional, one who can have an honest opinion without the pressure of selling his brand in the market.
Please, do not misunderstand me when I say I am not friend to my boys. I love them, care about them, and am furiously loyal to them. Those of them who have trusted their secrets or asked for my support (other than money) know they can count on me. There is a deep emotional involvement, just not to the depth of a friendship.
The fact that the relationship is based on a contract makes a hell of a difference.
Hasta la próxima pinga, amig@s