Promoting a sex positive mindset should be part of all adult entertainment players’ agenda. In a mainstream culture overloaded with sex negativity, we should talk more about and, of course, we should have more sex.
A sex positive mindset in a sex negative culture
Sex is doomed to be soaked in negativity in our cultures, deeply imprinted in our subconscious by our very languages. Offers to suck various dicks and to get fucked, far away to be kinky invitations, are aggressive insults with no much creativity across the languages and cultures I know. It is not just a Puritan treat, it is way more extended and universal than Puritanism.
Monogamy has become a cage that imprisons equally breeders and homos. If the seeds planted by the sexual revolution movement from the 60s had any chances to grow, the harvest was burned by the HIV nuke. Gay monogamy has become a normative institution, supported by the legal reforms of the last couple of decades. Show respect, sluts.
Sexual workers and adult entertainers are treated with disdain even in the communities that consume them. We cannot expect anything better from idiots like Giuliani, but even sister queens easily get into money power trips and talk professional providers like pet owners.
In a patriarchal, heterosexual mainstream culture, women are the ones taking most of the pressure. We know the double moral game. Women are easy whores, men are sophisticated gigolos; women are dirty sluts, men are mischievous players. They are the ones actually carrying the burden of sexual exclusivity in traditional marriages.
The examples could go on, every single reader must be right now picturing the countless situations where a negative attitude toward sex was involved. Fortunately, there is hope.
The sex positive movement
Since the 80s, the sex positive movement is on the raise, fueled mainly by feminists. Basically, it advocates for an “attitude towards human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable, and encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation”.
If you take a look at the Wikipedia entry for “sex positive”, you will find plenty of bibliography and information to research the related network. It comprehends a diverse number of groups and nuances.
There is a more developed definition I find appealing, by Dr. Justin Lehmiller. Sex positive is:
- adopting comprehensive and inclusive definitions of gender and sexual orientation,
- rejecting narrow definitions about what constitutes sex (e.g., the view that only vaginal intercourse “counts”),
- giving due consideration to the potential positive and negative consequences of being sexually active,
- providing people with the information and tools they need to optimize their sexual health and to make healthy decisions,
- promoting healthy and respectful sexual and romantic relationships,
- recognizing that monogamy and marriage are not universal relationship goals and ideals,
- understanding that not everyone is a sexual being and that a lack of sexual desire is not inherently dysfunctional, and
- respecting people who have different views about sex than you.
As explained before, we are wired to have a negative mindset towards sex in ways that we do not even realize. The attitude promoted by sex positivity involves a lot of introspection and self-questioning, involves a lot of hard work removing our own prejudices, requires an open mind to be challenged and to embrace change.
Sex positive is my middle name, babe
The sex positive movement gives the perfect framework to this blog. We celebrate all ways to enjoy sexuality, we do not exclude or judge anyone. Of course this blogger does not enjoy all forms of sex and focuses on his favorite ones, but we support everyone to live sexuality as they please.
Some would say I am judging monogamy. Perhaps I am, I am not free of negative attitudes, but my point is not against monogamy. My point is again its normative nature. Monogamists are very welcome to join other ways to experience human relationships as equals, not as the “normal” ones.
I want to talk positively about older and younger men finding each other attractive. I want to talk positively about prostitution, about experimentation, about promiscuity, masturbation, pornography, and all the tings I like, without making any judgement about the things I choose not to talk about.
Sex positive talk
We must talk and learn more about sex. Sexual education should be a federal mandate in schools. Sex education programming should be part of mainstream TV and radio broadcasts, in prime time. Sex is just another form of human expression that we should be able to discuss in public settings, just as we do it with music, movies, politics, religion, etc.
We must share more about sex. The sexual experience should be shared in colloquial language. We should take sex out of the clinical and scientific language and publicly share it in the same dialectal register we use to enjoy it. The aura of “intimacy” and “privacy” surrounding sex is often just another disguise for old negativity. Sex belonging to a world of secrecy, sin, darkness, and perversion should be replaced by sex belonging to a world of light, health, pleasure, and happiness.
Penis, vagina, anus, should be all words saved for education and science. We are going to gleamingly use a vocabulary ornamented with dicks, pussies, asses, sucking cock, eating pussy, and others alike because it is the language of pleasure, and pleasure should not be secret or private or whispered.
And of course, given we like it, we must have more sex. We must fuck more, suck more dick and eat more pussy. Sex is Good.
Sex positive politics
Christian Evangelicals and their crazy allies in the Right have taken over the Republican Party and the three branches of Government. The Supreme Court and in general the judges appointments situation show a very pessimistic prospect for the progressive field.
There is a left wing grassroots movement on the rise. A new leadership of women and representatives of other minorities is on the make. Those of us in the adult entertainment industry should be reaching out to these movements and trying to establish early alliances right now. It looks like a progressive wave is coming, we should be ready.
Sex negative attitudes are not a Right Wing or a Conservative monopoly. There is an abundance of leftists groups that would happily lead the crusade against prostitution, pornography, and sexual promiscuity. We should be sitting in the grassroots groups meetings, educating them on sex positive thinking. Monitoring and speaking up against any sex negativity in the new political platforms should be an every day task for our organizations.
Sexual education in the K-12 educational system, pregnancy and STDs prevention programs, elimination of any regulatory, legal, and financial discrimination against adult industry businesses, legalization of sex work, inclusive policies for sexual minorities, Inclusive policies for alternative life styles, health insurance programs for sex workers and adult entertainers, and a relentless defense of freedom of speech and expression, should all be part of our agenda and should be inserted in the new progressive public policies platforms.
I am sex positive
There is so much work to do. Our own community is plagued by sex negative thinking. Our own subconscious and behavior are deeply poisoned. I know mine is. I am proud at all the progress I have made on exploring, expanding, and embracing my own sexuality, and on learning about and celebrating others’. However, I am also overwhelmed at all the work still ahead.
The fact that the work to do is monumental is not an excuse to not doing it. We must start step by step. Cock by cock, mouth by mouth, ass by ass, and pussy by pussy.
Let’s talk about it, let’s share about it, let’s fuck.
Hasta la próxima pinga, amig@s!