Are you thinking of escorting? You are not alone. Although most of our readers are not fortunate to live in a country where sex work has been decriminalized.
Many are thinking of escorting
Welcome to a new installment of The School Series. Although in some previous articles we did address both sides of the escort business (check here, here, here, and here), we have always been more focused on talking to the clients. This time, we are addressing only potential workers.
You are a young hot man, probably horny, and in desperate need of money. Your pictures get a lot of likes in social media, and you are hearing stories and have friends with sugar daddies.
Actually, I am playing with a stereotype. No, you may not be so hot or so young. Perhaps you do not like sex more than any regular Joe, or you do not even need money desperately. It is imposible to build a profile of someone who is thinking of escorting because we do not have any significant data.
Even more, the anecdotal data we do have suggests a very widely diverse arrange of personal situations that drive someone to thinking of escorting.
I have met and continue meeting countless guys who do not fit in the stereotype that first comes to our minds when we think of an escort. Just scout Rentmen or Mintboys or any other escort website. Sex workers come in all the shapes and ages. If you have the chance to get to know them, you will probably learn that their motivations to become professional lovers show the same array of wide diversity.
Why are they thinking of escorting
However, we can agree on some facts. The offer of gay escorts and hustlers (I mean it respectfully) has sky rocketed thanks to Internet and social media. The advance of sexual minorities rights and the omnipresence of sex and pornography in mass media and the web have significantly weaken the taboo nature of sex and sexual relationships.
Therefore, the stigma attached to sex work is shaking, in one hand. On the other hand, traditional relationships that pseudo-secretly characterized homosexual culture for decades, are also becoming more acceptable and accepted. I am talking about the Sugar Daddy/Baby relationship.
There is also an inter-generational constellation that favors the flourishing of different kind of arrangements between younger and older men. Think about it. In this corner we have the young generations raised in a less homophobic and less sexophobic culture; a culture at the same time more hedonistic and centered on immediate satisfaction and consumerism. While in this other corner we have the older folks, the first generations of openly gay men with a budget line for sex play.
What else can we expect? Take a raising number of young guys considering sex work, add a a raising number of guys willing and able to pay for sex, and provide them with efficient, easy way to communicate. The result can only be the boom in the industry we are experiencing nowadays.
Where are you thinking of escorting
Your geographical location should be one of your major considerations. You may be residing in a rural area, or in the suburbs, or in downtown. The country of your residence may have decriminalized sex work, or you may live in places like the USA, where it is illegal.
The trade can work anywhere, but you must shape your business model according to the possibilities that offer your location. The legal framework for the activity is a major consideration, but not the only one. Living in a rural area may provide you with some income, but if you really want to make a living from escorting, you may want to relocate to a big city.
Perhaps staying in your small and affordable rural residence could also be a good idea, traveling and visiting the big metropolis as a touring escort. Again, the possibilities and the diversity offered by the market are wide. Just be aware of your choices and make thoughtful, informed decisions.
Are you ready for escorting
Like in any other craft, you can be a premium provider or a third/fourth tier worker. There are indeed many men who are escorting without taking the job seriously, or who do not fit in he suggestions this blogger is sharing. No one is perfect, but the most successful sex workers are the ones closer to perfection.
Are you ready? Would you fit in the trade? The first thing you should consider is what your mindset is about sex work.
This blogger has met many providers who think they are doing something wrong, or dirty (in a bad way), or sinful. They can be amazing during sex, but when they leave the bedroom their lives are embittered by guilt. This is of the most importance, do not do it if you think it is wrong.
Of course mainstream culture will condemn you, you will need a thick skin to cope with social pressure. But if you share that mainstream negative mindset, your happiness as a human being and your efficacy as a male companion will be affected.
Prostitutes and prostitution carry a social stigma. You must be self assertive and have very clear in your own mind that it is a honest, decent service industry job. We all sell our times and our bodies up to certain extent. You are just going further and sharing (not always) physical intimacy.
Advertising as a gay escort
If you are thinking of escorting, other of your first concerns should be how to reach out to your potential clients. We have already addressed this topic in previous posts, my apologies if you are a follower.
Nowadays, there are plenty of choices. Most of our readers are from the USA, where recent changes in legislation have effected a deep shake in the market, but still you have choices even when many traditional outlets are now gone.
The dominant escort website in the American market is Rentmen. The next paid outlet would be the PROS ads in Adam4Adam. Besides those, you have a few other options, for free. The one I recommend the most is Mintboys. There are also a couple of relevant niche outlets. If you are in the “thugish” side of the spectrum you may consider publishing in Freakwitme. If you are looking for a Sugar Daddy you may publish in Seeking, the ad there is for free if you are a college student.
Put some thinking on your ad. One of the consequences of SESTA/FOSTA in the USA has been a migration of providers to fewer advertising outlets. The offer is now concentrated in what used to be high end websites.
If you publish an ad backpage style with no stats, little narrative, and poor pictures, your chances to be contacted highly diminish. You are not in backpage or Craig’s List, your ad is standing next to professionally designed profiles of premium escorts. Trust me, the best clients go to the best ads.
Do not lie in your ad. Pictures and stats should not be misguiding. Read the four posts linked above in the first paragraph. There is a quite active underground network where clients communicate and share experiences. If you are not honest, your escorting career will be short and unsuccessful.
Your brand as a gay escort
Of course, before publishing any ad you must decide what the service you offer is. This is probably the set of decisions most important to make.
In my opinion, the best practice is offering only the services you can do well. If you are not into bottoming or into topping, do not say so. If you cannot kiss and enjoy demonstrations of affection, do not offer the Boyfriend Experience.
Once again, your ad should be truthful. Do not advertise that you can do things you do not like doing or are not willing to do. Do not sell yourself as an expert on practices you have never tried before. If you are willing to try new stuff, say so; but do not make up skills and knowledge you do not have.
If you are good at something unusual, or if you have been creative and came up with a service out of the norm, trust yourself and sick to it. You will have haters and narrow minded clients that may scorn you. Do not forget that the outspoken clients like myself are not representative of the entire and diverse universe of clients. Let the haters hate you, but be truthful to who you are and what you offer.
It is probably going to take you some time to try the waters, to find out what your own style and distinctive brand is. However, you must do it intentionally. The market is extremely competitive, if you do not want to be ignored you must find what your escorting character and unique features are.
Your talents for escorting
If you are thinking of escorting, one of the first questions that may come to your mind is whether or not you have what it takes.
As pointed before, we are in a very diverse market. You may find a niche even if your talents are limited or unusual. You do not even need to be gay or have intercourse, as you will find clients willing to just talk or worship you or who knows what. Here we will address what are the talents required to become a mainstream provider.
You must be good at keeping up with your communications and being on time with your appointments.
Do not forget you are in the service industry, you must be good at dealing with all kinds of personalities. Many clients are assholes that can ruin your reputation, you must be good at navigating negotiations and rejections without irritating them.
The most important talent is being able to identify and meet your clients needs. Our basic need is to have a fulfilling meeting; which in most cases mean a satisfying sexual interaction where we feel wanted and desired. If you cannot feel attraction for older, out of shape men, this may not be the craft for you. At least, you should be able to convincingly fake this attraction. Otherwise, your chances to be successful do not vanish but significantly diminish.
Your health if you are thinking of escorting
Escorting means sharing physical intimacy with many men, sexual promiscuity is part of the craft. You must take all sound precautions to protect yours and your clients’ health.
You should talk to your doctor. She does not need to know that you are thinking of escorting, but she does need to be aware that you are sexually promiscuous. Any physician will probably be able to get you into PrEP for free.
Being on PrEP means not only to get an effective protection against HIV infection. Part of the program is to get tested against all STDs every three months.
Be aware that STDs are on the raise. PrEP shields you only against HIV. You should still use condoms, specially if you are bottoming, specially if you are with a first timer. Of course, the risks you are wiling to take with regular clients are up to both of you, but you should protect yourself at your best always with guys you do not know.
Besides your health, your safety is also going to be continuously in stake. Law enforcement sting operations and self centered or even violent clients are a common occurrence. Until you develop a system, you should have a friend who checks after you every time you are going to meet a new client.
Health and safety are deeply interrelated. You will meet many clients in a money power trip. Make sure your boundaries are clear and do not allow anyone to abuse you. You can say no, and you must say no anytime you feel threatened, insecure, or just uncomfortable.
Over thinking of escorting
My intention is providing a resource that may help you to minimize the errors. Obviously, I am only in one side of the equation. You must find much more insightful advise from other escorts. Indeed, it would be a wise decision to join the M4M forums and ask for the wisdom of other professionals in the subforum “Ask an escort”. There are many veterans willing to mentor the newbies. Besides, you can also start networking with potential clients.
Once in Ask an Escort, you may check whether your colleagues agree with my advice, and ask for knowledge I do not have.
For instance, one of your major concerns should be how to manage your finances. How to save, invest, manage your expenses, and pay taxes, are all fundamental skills for your success. You should be planning for your future; and I cannot help you with any of that. You should ask them.
Indeed, you can also ask us questions if you prefer so. Please, do it in the comments below or by writing to our email or social media. We will do our best to be useful.
So much to discuss, but we must close this post. Please, support us.
Good luck, and do not forget to vote in November if you are in the USA.
Hasta la próxima pinga, amig@s!