The School Series
We have not been back to school in a long time and, fortunately, during the last months our readership has grown significantly. Therefore, you may need a quick reminder of the purpose of the series, before getting to the discussion forums; as well as a quick read of our About Us and Bill of Fucks pages.
Our intention with all the posts tagged as “School Series” is to provide an educative and informative service. If you are an experienced sex worker or client, you may not need our insights.
But if you are considering to become a male escort, or have been escorting for a while without much success, you may want to read carefully this post, as well as the previous lessons.
Similarly, this will be a useful reading if you are considering to hire your first male companion; or have been hiring for a while but want more resources to maximize the joy brought by our hobby.
To close this intro, a final reminder. The world of sex work is very diverse. This blogger does not pretend to represent all the clients or to know all the providers. The knowledge shared here is based in our own experience and the experiences shared by some good friends.
The Discussion Forums
Let’s start the lesson, my dear scholars. Many of you, probably most of the younger ones, do not know what an Internet discussion forum is. It is even possible that many of the youngest ones could have never heard of it before.
Our goal today is not to go into history, so I am going to make it simple. Internet discussion forums are ancestors of modern social media. It is how it started back in the 90s, and they survived despite ferocious competition.
First of all, you pick an identity to sign up. And basically, that is it, now you just interact and participate. If you do not want to participate, you do not even need to sign up. You can read the conversations even if you are not a member.
The structure is based in thematic forums and threads. There is no chatting, but messaging. You post your messages in public, where everyone can read them, responding to others’ public messages and at the same time allowing others to respond to yours.
You also have the option to maintain private conversations with other forum members, very much like DMs in Twitter.
Actually, imagine a slower Twitter, with no limit to the number of characters you can write, and you will be not so far from understanding the discussion forums experience.
My two favorite ones
Not only discussion forums have survived the competition of blogging and modern social media, but they are thriving. Perhaps the most popular brand is Reddit, specially after all the press related to their decisions after FOSTA. Indeed, the panic wave triggered by the new regulation deeply affected the discussion forums universe.
The very strength that allowed their survival, is causing their dismissal. What makes this resource attractive is the possibility to build networks and community around a shared interest. Therefore, they are extremely exposed to policing and an easy prey if you want to show off what a good fucking Christian you are.
In matters related to gay escorting, there are two main discussion forums in the English language. Both are a gold mine of information if you are involved in any way in the industry. If I were an anthropologist, I would be buying these data bases for my University. Both websites are fascinating gates to urban gay culture since the 90s all over the world, from an American mindset.
Although the focus of interest is escorting, the members share all kind of opinions and information about every aspect of modern culture. Traveling, music, movies, theater, TV, politics, and others are topics just as active as gay escorts and masseurs. But this is just a side note, as in this lesson we are focusing in Trade.
The M4M forums
These are the most popular discussion forums. Members are very active and new stuff is posted every few seconds or minutes. Originally, they were part of another website, Daddy’s Reviews, also an extremely useful resource if you are involved in the trade. This is a a huge library of reviews submitted by vetted clients, reporting on the performance of gay escorts and masseurs. Nowadays, they are expanding the reviews to gay places and “things to view”.
As a consequence of FOSTA, Daddy’s Reviews and the M4MF became separate entities. Additional effects were the washing out of the language in the escorts reviews, that used to be much more explicit, and stricter guidelines for participation in the discussion forums.
Whether you are a provider or a client in American territory, these two websites are a must. You can be coached by more experienced colleagues if you are giving your first steps in escorting, or network and share information if you are an experienced one, in Sub-forums like “Ask an Escort”. You can make a difference in your business by having your happy clients submitting positive reviews.
If you are a client, besides accessing a huge amount of already published information, you can also place requests for specific tips. In Sub-forums like “The Deli” is quite usual to see threads started with a 411 on a publishing provider. But you can also find some coaching if you are a newbie in the hobby.
Most participants in the discussion forums are extremely supportive. If you have any question, there will always be a Brother or Sister running to help you.
Besides being a thriving virtual community, the relationships created through the website have materialized. There are a few events taking place in the real world as a product of the conversations started in the discussion forums.
Indeed, the most important one is the Palm Springs Weekend. We attended one a couple of years ago and had a great time in the dinner and then in the Pool Party. This is a full weekend of social gatherings amongst clients and gay escorts, some them generously hosted by forum members. You can follow up this thread in case you want to join next episode.
The other gathering that has shown some regularity is the DC Luncheon. This is a lunch taking place during MAL weekend in Washington DC. Being a local, I have attended three times. Up to today, there are no news about the next edition.
Both events are great for networking, continuing the friendships started online, make some contracts, and fuck.
As a personal note, this blogger is extremely thankful for the M4M Forums community. This is where I learned my first lessons in the world of escorting in the United States.
Boytoy is based in Southeast Asia and has not been affected at all by FOSTA. In contrast to the M4MF, the traffic in the discussion forums is slow and low, and the focus is not in American escorts but in the Trade around the world. And the most appreciated contrast: the language can be explicit with no needs for euphemisms for anything.
Boytoy does have escorts profiles and many features that I have never used. You may want to explore them and their reviews (the reviews are viewable only if you sign in). The only section I take advantage of is the discussion forums.
I am also extremely thankful for this resource. My trips to Brazil would have been much less successful without the information I obtained in threads like this one. If you are planning to travel to Brazil, I strongly recommend you to search for “Tomcal”. He is a member who has substantially contributed with his knowledge of Brazilian saunas and garotos de programa. Let’s say that it is specialty, his contributions are substantial about sex work around the world.
If you are a traveler exploring the local sex market, for free or for a fee, you will have useful tips on practically any place around the world.
If you are a gay escort working in any location around the globe that receives American tourists, this is your place to networking and hunting for good clients.
M4MF vs Boytoy
Once you start exploring these two resources, you may find out that they are not in good terms with each other. The grudge was born many years ago, before this blogger started participating, and we are not interested in discussing it here. If you are into digging out old history, you may find some clues in the Sandbox sub-forum of Boytoy, but you need to be a recognized member to access it.
We consider both discussion forums invaluable and want them to thrive. Both are going through a generational change, and I am hopeful that younger members with a more contemporary mindset will add and enrich these virtual communities.
Bottom line, if you are based in the United States and involved in the gay escorting world, you must take advantage of the M4M Forums. If you are based anywhere else around the world, and/or you are a sex traveler researching a destination, you must go into Boytoy.
That is the lesson I wanted you to learn today. Perhaps the next one would be about netiquette and how to maximize the fruits of participating.
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Hasta la próxima pinga, amig@s!