It is Masturbation Time. No matter how young you are, stay home if you can. The COVID-19 pandemic must be taken seriously.


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Hopefully this is an unnecessary remark. However, the seriousness of the situation demands insistence, as indeed there are some still in denial. It is Masturbation Time, my friends.

Of course we need to avoid panic. This is not the apocalypse nor zombie wars. Clearly, running to stock supplies is counterproductive. Now it is time to ignore the news you are reading in social media and go only to traditional sources. Follow the experts’ advice published in sources like the Washington Post or the New York Times, and serious TV news broadcasters

By now, it is clear that the corona virus cannot be stopped, but it is crucial to slow down the spread of the infection. The goal is to avoid the health system collapse. As long as the patients in critical state have access to quality care, mortality rates stay at a reasonable level. High but reasonable. Otherwise, the elder patients could be dying at rates 24% and higher. Besides, it is not really clear how lethal COVID-19 is for younger patients. Stay home, my friends, it is masturbation time.

If we all stay home as much as possible, the infections curve will not pick, hospitals will not be overwhelmed, and patients mortality will be considerable lower. There are many articles on line very didactic to understand how important embracing some weeks of jerking off at home is.

Obviously, we do need to step out to buy groceries, and medication, and to exercising outdoors. Just do your best effort to truly limit your exposure to the absolutely necessary. Certainly, sex is a need. That is why we are talking of Masturbation Time.


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 I am talking of Masturbation Time because I live alone. If you have one or more room mates, your options may be more diverse. I like living by myself, but these days I envy those who don’t.

Lonely or not, the bottom line is to have close physical contact with as few people as possible, and to be in public places as little as possible. Until there is a vaccine or an effective treatment, self quarantining is the only way to protect first responders, health care workers, and the elderly.

Declaring masturbation time is not easy. After all, I am a big slut. Nevertheless, we must resist the temptation. I have logged off from Grindr, Scruff, and A4A, and shared with my fuckbuddies that I am not available these days. Seriously, you should do the same. Even if you have a room mate, you should only play if both of you are quarantined. 

Needless to say, it is easier for me because I am not a sex worker. First of all, my thoughts are with you if you are one. Clearly these are daring times for adult entertainers in general and sex workers in particular. Second, although I understand your circumstances, I encourage you to do a sacrifice. Reduce your expenses as much as you can, chip your savings as much as you can, ask for a loan to your regular clients. 

Third, I bet a significant portion of your income is coming from clients who are in the on risk population. Rather than taking their calls, you should be calling them to advice celibacy for a few weeks. Otherwise, once the COVID-19 pandemic is over, you may find out your pool of clients is considerably smaller. 


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Even when we are still not certain about the extent of the crisis, we do know it is devastating. Right now, besides the thousands who have died, millions of workers are being laid off all over the world and millions of low income students are not receiving any education. For those kids, from conventional teen age humor, it really is jerking off time.

The less privileged always suffer the worst

My students are fortunate to attend a school that in 72 hs improvised an effective plan for distance learning. My last contact with my campus was yesterday, when we issued the last Chromebook. I went there in the afternoon, after teaching my classes in the morning from home. There is a good chance we will not return to the building this school year. Fortunately, we have a plan in that case to provide our students with some education. Most kids in my area (I am in Washington DC, the capital of the Empire) are not so fortunate.

Beyond those short and midterm consequences, the COVID-19 will probably be a cornerstone in several fields of human activities. 

First of all, human physical interactions will change. No more shaking hands. I wonder what is going to happen with the Argentinean and Brazilian kissing, and the Latin physical effusiveness  in general. 

Secondly, some industries will have a significant impact for good or for bad. For instance, cruise lines have been hit even harder than airlines after 9-11. International traveling and transportation hubs are probably going to be transformed. Industries related to cleaning and disinfecting will flourish.

Ultimately, virtual connectivity is receiving a bump that cannot but consolidate its already rocketing rising, even before the COVID-19 crisis. The work force that was progressively shifting to teleworking, is going to see the speed of the process quite accelerated. In the social reign, discos, bars, shopping malls and other enclosed places for mass gatherings were already dying. They will go faster now, giving up to social media and virtual spaces.

A new era

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We still have a few weeks, probably a few months of pandemic ahead, and no one knows how exactly the situation will evolve. As we are in the middle of it, stay home if you can. Embrace telework and Masturbation Time.

My trip to Brazil in April is, of course, cancelled. If the pandemic is over by July and the new school calendar allows me, I will try again. The situation in general is uncertain, but even worse in Brazil. The Brazilian government has been not responsive to the seriousness of the challenge. Up to yesterday March 18th, there were saunas still open in Rio. I understand the last one closed today, March 19th, not because of official mandate but out of social pressure.

We can assume that once Masturbation Time is over, saunas will be back. However, we are not sure. Apparently we still have at least a couple of months of crisis to go, and we are not sure how the new after pandemic era will look like. 

Because with or without saunas, a new era is coming indeed. Masturbation Time will be over and the world will be changed. Although some changes will bring new stuff, what we will experience will be a general acceleration of processes that were already stars before COVID-19 arrived: teleworking, online shopping, social media, and all virtual interactions.


Hasta la próxima pinga, amig@s!


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