Since the birth of our Nation, Americans have been very proud of their Bill of Rights. And we should be. So I present you with I Like Pinga’s Bill of Fucks, the philosophical principles that summarize millennia of human ethics. I enclosed myself in a Library and sank in deep research. My studies focused on the contributions of many great philosophers, from sophisticated Epicureans to idiotic Christians.
The Bill Of Fucks
- Dear breeders: I do not want you to forgive me, to cure me, to tolerate me, to accept, or to celebrate me. I want you to suck me.
- If it does not trigger the gag reflex, sorry but your pinga is not long enough for me.
- If my middle finger and my thumb are in contact when I grab it, sorry but your pinga is not thick enough for me.
- If my mouth does not water when I look at your pinga, sorry but it is not beautiful enough for me.
- If your pinga or your ass are not clean, go take a shower and an enema motherfucker.
- If you are a sexually promiscuous comrade and you are not in PrEP, what a fuck is wrong with you. Move to the back of the line.
- If you think that condoms are the only way to have safe sex, go back to your century. We are in 2017 here.
- If you think that transgenderism implies a choice or any kind of physical or psychological disability, get the hell out of my face. We are in 2017 here.
- If you think that the labels gay/bisexual/straight are enough to understand human sexuality, I am sorry for you.
- If bottoming is somehow denigrating and below topping for you, go hire a shrink and do not dare waisting my time.
- If you think that because you are the top you are the one in control, I am sorry for your partners.
- If you think men pay for sex because they are too unattractive to get any for free, you are just an ignorant. Educate yourself.
- If you think sex workers and other adult entertainers are not honest, hardworking, generous contributors to our culture and community, who deserve the outmost respect from everyone, you do not deserve one millisecond of my attention.
- If you think porn is immoral, indecent, dangerous, or anything else negative, good for you. Shut up and keep sucking. The video in my phone is more interesting than you.
- If you think that anything wrong comes from or causes frequent masturbation, please shut up. You are making me lose focus and rhythm.
A living document
Of course the Bill of Fucks is a living document, open to updates and improvements. Human sexuality continues evolving, and so our ethics. Please, feel free to make suggestions by sending me an email.
Hasta la próxima pinga, amigos!