After interviewing Rhyheim the first time, I thought our relationship would be over. Fortunately, I was wrong.
The beginning of something new
Of course, it may be wishful thinking. However, I am still convinced we are witnessing the beginning of something new in porn. Let’s check the counter.
On March 9th, when we published our first article about Rhyheim Shabazz, his Twitter account had 45.4K followers, after being created only three weeks before. When I am editing this interview, on March 24th, the count is at 74.9K.
Needless to say, Rhyheim could be granting interviews to mainstream outlets. Clearly, he could be making money from it. I am confident he has been already contacted with offers. However, showing that his actions follow his words, he chose us. Interviewing Rhyheim is a privilege, one he granted to us and to no one else so far.
In exclusive for you all, Interviewing Rhyheim Part II: love and past relationships.
Interviewing Rhyheim: The escorting times
- ILP: We know you started escorting at 20 and retired at 30, and we also know you landed a sugar daddy. How was your sentimental life while escorting?
- RS: Hmmm… sentimental life?
- ILP: Was escorting an obstacle to have committed relationships or simply you were not interested?
- RS: Escorting was an obstacle when it came to having ANY relationship. Society deems it unacceptable so it was just another addition to my list of insecurities. I think that most of my energy was put into being discreet about it. However, in the relationship that I’d say was my longest and strongest, he was aware of my time as an escort. However, by the time that relationship started, the escorting had just ended.
- ILP: How long lasted your relationship with that sugar daddy?
- RS: lmao. Relationship makes it sound a bit more than what it is, but to answer your question 14 years.
- ILP: Something is wrong with my Math. If you started at 20 and retired at 30, how come you kept a sugar daddy for 14 years?
- RS: You just made me laugh. I met him when I first moved to LA when I was 23. He was only a client for like two years. Then the relationship morphed into something not at all sexual but more parental (I know how odd that seems, but trust me… ok it’s odd 🙈). This relationship allowed me to retire from escorting at 30.
Speed Dating
- ILP: If we were in a speed dating session and you had only one minute to make your case, what would you say about you?
- RS: I’m one of the least complicated people you’ll meet, which probably puts me amongst the most complicated. I give my friends permission to warn potential partners about anything in reference to me as long as it’s their honest opinion
- ILP: Well, you are not saying much there. If I am in a speed dating session with you and you tell me that… well, sure I will want to fuck with you, sexy motherfucker, but dating? Meh… Can you be more specific, you are trying to sell yourself here.
- RS: That’s the thing with me. I don’t think that I’m ever really “trying” to sell myself ever. When people say “tell me about yourself” I shut down. I hate giving adjectives to describe myself. It just feels so egotistical to think that my opinion is someone else’s. Its odd to see profiles that show “masculine” “hung” “handsome” or whatever. I think to myself, “ok… I know what you think of yourself but do others share that opinion”. That’s why I simply tell them to ask my friends. My friends have no problem warning others about the challenges of a relationship with me.
- ILP: would you share your personal weaknesses, those things that may make a relationship with you challenging?
- RS: I’m a control freak when it comes to my life. I’m stubborn and set in my ways. Unless I’m on a streak fucking my life up, I generally choose to make my own mistakes. That leaves me with an “I know what’s best for me” type of mentality. Yea… I’m definitely some level of sociopath.
Interviewing Rhyheim about his preferences
- ILP: Are any physical (age, skin color, physique, etc.) features you look after in a potential partner?
- RS: I have 0 expectations in a partner. I’ve learned that if I have patience and an open mind, fate will eventually show or give me what I need instead of me being distracted by what I think I desire.
- ILP: And what are the character/personality attributes you are looking for?
- RS: Honesty. Self-confidence. Empathy. Most importantly… a sense and acceptance of one’s self. That last one is the first step to putting one’s life in order, in my opinion.
- ILP: Let’s ask the mirror question. What physical and character/ personality attributes do you find unappealing?
- RS: I don’t focus much on the physical. In terms of character traits… Hypocrisy… the quickest way to get shut out by me is being a hypocrite. Down Low mentality… I understand and can accept the choice that some gay men make to be “DL”, but those are remote cases. Far too many gay men come up with reasons for being DL that are bullshit to me. At the end of the day, when you act ashamed to be gay you tell me and everyone that you’re putting on this performance for that being gay is shameful. Arrogance… To think that you are the greatest is the ultimate set up for failure.
Interviewing Rhyheim on Independence
- ILP: Are you the kind of man who needs to be in love to be happy, who is always looking for the One?
- RS: I’m actually the opposite. My feeling is that the more that you need and desire such companionship the more difficult it’ll be to find. I’ve kinda trained myself to content with myself being my own company. Probably why I’m such a homebody now and probably why I spend more time hiking or at parks with my dogs than out and about with friends.
- ILP: When you are in a relationship, do you like keeping your own space, and private time, and even your own social life?
- RS: OMG… to the MAX. I’ve seen what a lack of space and freedom can do to even the best relationships. Too much of a good thing is never good. My partners are usually total opposites so it’s usually the case that my social life is separate of my partners.
- ILP: Can you identify any changes/evolution in your mindset about relationships if you compare your younger years to nowadays?
- RS: Relationships are not the fairytale that we’ve been taught. However, I believe in Love and the idea of a relationship more now than a decade ago.
Sexual exclusivity and love
- ILP: Would you or have you accepted sexual exclusivity within your sentimental relationships?
- RS: This I can’t honestly answer. I’ve never been exclusive though.
- ILP: Allow me to squeeze you a little bit more here. You are sharing that up to now you have always been in open relationships. Do you think you could be happy in the future fucking only with one husband or boyfriend?
- RS: I didn’t say that they were open. With the exception of my last relationship where we were open, in the rest I was simply a dog. I lied and cheated and did what insecure people do. I fought my natural instincts and tried creating an image based on what was expected of me by my partners.
- ILP: Imagine that Sean Zevran walks into the room, bend on his knee, kiss your inspiring dick (one more time), and proposes to you, with one condition. You can not fuck with anyone else without his approval. He is a well established porn star, so you cannot really control who he will be fucking with. Would you accept?
- RS: This scenario is pretty hard to imagine. If Sean came to me in all his glory (and there’s LOTS of glory) with this condition, it wouldn’t be Sean. It’s his confidence in everything that he has to offer that makes him sexy. It’s his life of independence and freedom that makes him sexy. It’s his empathy as well. He may demand to be the only bottom in the room but not in one’s life. Also, I don’t like being confined in ANY way. It brings out an undesirable side of me. A VERY undesirable side.
More about Love
- ILP: We know that you are a slut. Are you also polyamorous?
- RS: …what’s that?
- ILP: It is the ability to be in love with more than one person, and therefore committed to more than one relationship simultaneously. Are you?
- RS: Hypocrisy is a pet peeve of mine. I wouldn’t want share my partners heart with anyone and i feel that I shouldn’t force them to share mine. Plus relationships are work. I’m not greedy when it comes to the number of people in my life. Actually, I’m probably the opposite.
- ILP: Have you ever lived together with a romantic partner?
- RS: Yep. I think in all my past serious relationships.
- ILP: How many your past serious relationships are?
- RS: I’ve had 4 past serious relationships.
- ILP: Can you identify any patterns in your past relationships, and in the reasons that ended them?
- RS: I began to feel confined. The relationship usually starts out innocent enough, but as time went on more and more expectation was out on those relationships and I’m the worst person when it comes to having expectations out on me.
- ILP: The worst thing of people is that we are not loyal like dogs. Are you a forgiving person?
- RS: My name means “merciful one” and I am. But Mercy comes with a price.
Believe it or not
- ILP: Have you ever been dumped?
- RS: Yes. I’ve been dumped. Once that I can recall. If there are moments or situations that define you as a person, I’d say that relationship is the one for me.I was in a 4 year relationship that ended not because I was a dog (I was though), not because we fell out of love, not because the sex was bad (it was bomb). That relationship ended because my lifestyle (free?) didn’t properly align with the image that he wanted to present of himself to the public when he was thrust into celebrity. I think it broke me in a way. My friends could see how it affected me, but it also freed me to really find out and embrace who I am.After that, I feel like I put myself through an honesty bootcamp. Learning to be honest with myself so that I can learn to be honest with everyone else in hopes that it spreads like a wave because it feels so good when you get a grasp of it. It ain’t always pretty, but it gives way to something that’s so lacking in today’s relationships. Trust.
And we close this round of interviewing Rhyheim with that note. Focusing on today’s topic was his idea. In case you are enjoying the series, is there any topic you would like Rhyheim to share about? Feel free to make your suggestions via Twitter, email, or below at Disqus.
Hasta la próxima pinga, amig@s!
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