I tried to put together a list of the more common assumptions about prostitution. Many of the concepts here can be expanded to porn performers, although they are a step higher on the scale of Morally Stupid America. We advocate for full decriminalization.
PROSTITUTION IS EXPLOITATION:
Prostitution refers to a hugely diverse array of situations and involved agents. Indeed, in some situations exploitation is evident, but it is not coming from the industry’s very nature. The abuse is facilitated by the legal status of the activity that marginalizes whores and leaves them without proper legal defense and working rights. Besides, take a look around, even workers of reputedly respected professions are being underpaid, exploited, taken advantage of, but the cry about exploitation only raises when prostitution is discussed. Just another example of the anti-sex bias of our culture.
PROSTITUTES ARE SCAMMERS AND HUSTLERS:
Another unfair generalization. Yes, some of them are, just as in the law, or the real estate, or the financial, or any other industry. I do not know of any studies made about this, but based in my experience I have serious doubts there is more dishonesty in Whoreland than in Wall Street (I know, not a very high standard). Most of the escorts I have met are average or above average moral beings. Just another example of the anti-sex bias of our culture.
TO BE A CLIENT YOU NEED TO HAVE CONSIDERABLE DISPOSABLE INCOME.
Wrong. The world of sex for pay shows the same diversity and complexity of our society. If we are talking about high end escorts, yes, a client needs to be able to pay those fees. But there are paid services available at all economic levels, even when there is no money at all. The lower end (this is not an statement of human value but of financial capability) of the continuum is involved in trade practices that still qualify as prostitution.
ESCORTS ARE YOUNG GUYS RENTING THEIR BODIES TO PAY FOR A PROJECT (college, bills, etc,).
This assumption implies that the activity is condemnable but can be tolerated or rather forgiven when it is at the service of some more noble objective. Again it is a matter of diversity. Many escorts are not young but experienced and very successful professionals of sex. Yes, I am sure many young guys are using escorting to pay their bills, and many of them are probably going through the experience without enjoying it, feeling abused and/or exploited. I am sorry for them. But many, even when they don’t see escorting as a career, are enjoying it and having fun.
Besides, consider we are talking about college age human beings, who do not know themselves well. Some of them, even when now are doing it “just to pay for tuition”, or “just to pay the mobil bill”, will learn and find out more about themselves and the world, and may become happy and accomplished professional providers. Others will not, but no one would say anything if instead of paying for tuition by selling their bodies to clients they were selling their time to McDonalds. Also, we live in a capitalists system where we all have bills to pay, that is one of the reasons we have jobs.
This is just another example of the anti-sex bias of our culture and a derivation of the mother of all the assumptions: prostitution is a dirty, not desirable profession, only for the desperate and the morally sick.
PROSTITUTES ARE UNEDUCATED PEOPLE WITH NO BETTER OPTIONS.
First of all, are you not doing whatever you are doing because it is the best thing you can do? I hope so. I love my profession, I do not know of anything I can do better. Of course if I learn there is something else that I can do better, I would switch careers. Wouldn’t you? In matter of professional options there is no difference between a whore and everybody else.
The gap is, once again, that they have to do it without the protections of a legal craft, and against the prejudices, the ignorance, and the persecution of mainstream society. About education, some of the prostitutes I met are academic scholars and college lecturers, with a sophisticated intellect and a voraciously curious mind, able to think at high analytical level and challenge you with engaging conversation. Some of the prostitutes I met are ignorant assholes unable to articulate one interesting thought or show any curiosity or ability to understand a slightly complex concept. Show me the difference between prostitutes and any other professional field. Just another example of the anti-sex bias of our culture.
CLIENTS ARE UGLY MEN WHO CANNOT GET LAID FOR FREE.
Wrong. Perhaps I am, but I know plenty of hot and attractive men who are hiring escorts. A variation of this assumption is that clients are old men that would not find a partner without paying. Wrong anyway. I started hiring in my early 20s, when I was an attractive young man having plenty of sex for free. I am not the only one. And let’s not discuss here the projection of what attractive is.
PROSTITUTION AND DRUGS GO TOGETHER.
We could even expand this assumption to “sex and drugs” go together. Hell yeah, drugs, sex, and rock and roll, motherfuckers! No, wrong again. I doubt there is more drug use and/or abuse in the sex industry than in any other industry. If there is a difference, we should see whether it is related to the very nature of the industry, or to the nature of a marginalized activity. What would happen to whatever you do if you were forced to flourish out of most of legal protections. Just another example of the anti-sex bias of our culture.
PROSTITUTES ARE UNHAPPY PEOPLE LIVING A DARK EXISTENCE.
It sounds more like priests to me. Wrong. As said before, if there are more unhappy whores than unhappy clowns it is due to living in the margins of society. It is not because of being a whore. I know a lot of very unhappy, depressed, and troubled people in all careers. Just another example of the anti-sex bias of our culture.
THE CLIENT/PROSTITUTE RELATIONSHIP IS BASED ON ONE TRYING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE OTHER ONE.
Is this different to any other human relationship, including family and friends? There are whole sociological and anthropological bodies of research explaining all social interactions on the ground of exchange, on their need to be mutually beneficial. I have heard of terrifying histories about friends or relatives abusing and taking advantage of each other more than horrible stories about prostitutes and johns. I know of no human relationship that is perfect, but most human interactions besides the need to be a mutually beneficial trade also include a sympathetic, humanly fulfilling component. The world of prostitutes and their clients is not different. I have heard of, and I have experienced myself, moving stories of generosity, fraternity, friendship, and love between them.
We are all prostitutes. We rent/sell our time, our skills, our intellect, our bodies, just like a prostitute does. The only difference is they have sex in the process. Don’t you get it? They are the smart ones, we are the stupid whores.
Hasta la próxima pinga, amigos!