Seeking or Sickening?
Finding Arrangements? I am reassessing my stand on Seeking Arrangement. After I wrote my post about it, I decided to give it a second try, changing my strategy, and taking advantage of all this extra time I have in July. What did not change is the first part of my previous assessment.
If you have a fat bank account, go for it. There are thousand of all kind of college boys, desperate for financial support. If you are looking only for sex, you will have plenty of it. You will enormously enlarge your pool of options with all these guys who do not advertise in traditional escorts outlets. If you are looking for something else besides sex, you will have to put some work on combing away the guys who don’t match your search. However, I am confident you will find interesting guys, honestly into developing relationships with older men.
That part of my assessment stands. What is changing is my previous opinion, that paying their expensive fee is not worthy for someone in my situation, with a little tiny bank account. That impression came from my experience during one month of playing with the website, without knowing what I was looking for, used to the simplicity and efficiency of escorting services or hook up websites and apps.
New Strategy for finding arrangements
I figured it out that I needed to define what is it that I want from the site, to avoid the countless going no where messages and conversations that overwhelmed me my first time. This blogger gets lots of sex from escorts and from Adam, and a little bit from Scruff, but always wants more sex. I am a freak, what can SA add to what I get from other outlets. As the website is calling for sugar babies and sugar daddies, there is a chance that those young guys who actually are into older gentlemen may be here over represented compared to other hook up outlets. I do hook up with young guys from Adam, but usually those are one night stands. Perhaps I could find longer lasting fuck buddies with a lower cost than paying for an escort. That’s it.
I paid for my second month of premium membership. My profile had been there for 5 months, receiving contacts I was not able to read. I had a lot of messages to respond plus all the new guys I wanted to contact. Instead of starting conversations about whatever, I decided to start the contacts putting all my cards on the table.
Explaining that I do not have a lot of money, that I am willing to pay the expenses if we go out together or if we hang out at home, that perhaps now and then but not often I could pay a bill or a ticket, that I am looking for a friendship with benefits where sex is very important. I make very clear that the arrangement will work only if they find me physically attractive and let’s say “cool” to hang out with. All this not only eliminates the high maintenance guys but also those who are not locals.
Starting the contacts that way, I am saving much time by significantly reducing my pool of options. At this moment I am talking to four guys, but this can change any time. My temporary assessment is now that it may worth paying the fee if you are in my same financial situation. I am going to get as many phone numbers as possible during this premium period, and I will not renew the premium membership until I feel like I need more candidates. My plan is to continue reporting here on my successes and frustrations in this quest.
A few potential arrangements
From my first month of membership, back in January, I got one interesting guy. I will call him my Texan boy. He is 22 years old, just graduated from college, and is moving to DC. The boy came earlier on to have job interviews, we met, and had good chemistry. Then he went back to Texas and we started the discussion of our arrangement. He is starting to live with me on the 24th. The first 2 weeks will be a trial, if the experiment is successful we will extend the arrangement. Both of us are texting a lot since a week ago, when he made his decision, getting to know each other better. It feels like he is really into working out a long term arrangement, so he will probably take over my second bedroom, which is now my office.
From this second month so far I have four candidates. Right now I have only one of them to talk about, as I prefer to address here only those I already met. I will call this one the Cute One. It is not that the Texas boy is not hot, he is, but he did not cause the same effect when we met in Fireplace.
The Cute One is 23 years old, lives in Baltimore by himself, and has a full time job. I met him last Sunday, at Rockhard DC. As soon as he walked into the bar all eyes were on him. He is not “stripper hot”, but has an irresistibly attractive face, besides a perfectly nice body. The waiter came to sit next to him for the rest of our staying there. The dancers were coming to him in pairs to lap dance and tease him. I could see all the patrons with there eyes on him. I went to get some drinks and, when I came back, a guy was talking to him. He ran away as soon as I returned. It was a lot of fun.
After that we went to my place and had a great time, he left the next morning. We already talked about meeting again, but so far we have discussed no arrangement, other than me paying for the drinks or tickets or whatever expense when we get together.
I should meet at least one more guy this week end. I will keep you posted with the progress of the Texan Boy, The Cute One, and whoever else I meet.